Taking Shakespeare’s next stage of life, I veer from his swearing, quarrelsome, bearded soldier to that of the soldier’s wife, though that was not our original plan. When we married, our expectation included a long life in a rural community in Pontotoc County, Mississippi. But Al received greetings from Uncle Sam on his 24th birthday saying, “I want you.” As it turned out, the US Army put a square peg in a square hole. Al made the Army a career and remained for almost 25 years, attaining the highest enlisted rank of Sergeant Major.
Like most things, this was bad news and good news. Bad news first. First bad year came when he served in Korea, leaving me a daily half-hour drive of a five-year-old to kindergarten with the baby born in his absence in the car seat waiting for her first feeding until we got home, with her daily routines to be finished before the pickup trip. The second bad year in Vietnam began with the nightly newscast of Saigon being bombed, where he served in the headquarters. It ended in the US forces withdrawal and his return home delayed four times by withdrawal issues – the last delay as he and his fellow soldiers were retained at the airport for insurance that the last load of POWs would be released from North Vietnam.
That said, there were more good things than bad in Uncle Sam’s invitation, with the biggest perk a change in our horizons and perspective. Our first trip into foreign territory, since neither of us had ventured far across the Mississippi state line, came in New Jersey. I quickly figured out that the owner of the small grocery store down the hill had understood what I said when he asked me to repeat a request, he just wanted to hear my drawl again. Language would turn up again in France where we found the My Fair Lady adage correct that the French don’t care what you say as long as you say it correctly. The Belgians, on the other hand, at their family fruit and vegetable stand might take half an hour of repetition and sign language to figure out what you were trying to say. Then they would introduce you to the entire family in their stand and tell you about their uncle who lived in New York. Coping with my Gateway German class, offered to spouses for basic conversation, led the teacher to agree that I spoke any language with a drawl! Communication was easier in other assignments in New York, Kentucky, Texas, and Louisiana.
Some of our broadening world view came from living on military bases with a multicultural experience right out the front door. Not only did military members represent the diversity in our own nation, many of them married spouses in the places where they were stationed. Enriched classroom experiences came when these parents shared their cultures with my students. My children and my students came close to MLKs dream of choosing friends by their character rather than the color of their skin. And I shall not forget one long tiring day of parent conferences when the penultimate parent, Mrs. Peach, brought a platter of hot homemade spring rolls, insisting that I eat one on the spot and take the rest home for my family’s dinner.
The season of being a soldier’s wife – definitely more good news than bad!