Today, they say, is “Face Your Fears Day.” My principal fears have included public speaking, water, travel, and heights. A couple have vanished, probably because I was motivated to face them.
Early on, my father who loved public speaking and grew more enthusiastic as the audience grew larger, insisted that I would like it, too. My first effort when I was six or seven was telling a Bible story to a small country church congregation. The part I remember best was returning to the front pew afterwards to shed tears of relief. Rather than disappoint Daddy, I kept giving it a shot when he thought I should. I don’t remember when the fear turned to acceptance or the acceptance turned to pleasure, but now I actually enjoy sharing on a subject I’m passionate about with a group of people who want to learn.
The Army gets credit for my seeing travel as enjoyment instead of fear of the unknown in a new place. Assignments in France, Belgium, and Germany surrounded with other European countries in driving distance will do that.
I recorded in a trip diary an effort to face my fear of heights. On a trip with Al and my youngest sister Ruth, we were challenged to cross Capilano Suspension Bridge in Vancover, Canada. The 450-foot bridge hangs 230 feet above the Capilano River. The entry in my diary reads:
One glance and my fear of heights kicked in. The bridge is made of heavy coiled metal chain with the bottom overlaid with boards. It crosses a gorge two hundred and thirty feet below. As long as one and a half football fields, it swung from side to side and bounced up and down as we crossed. Adventurous Ruth stepped out to be the first one across. I was terrified. [I would use a stronger word, but I don’t know one.] I clung to Allen’s arm on one side and the rail on the other, lifting my hand ever few inches for the knob of metal that held it all together. Some joker decided to make it even more scary by bouncing as he walked. Allen stopped to look back and see who it was until I demanded that we get ourselves on across. I couldn’t wait to get this behind me. By the time we reached the other side, I could feel my heart pounding. One of the men in our group must have seen the terror in my face. He asked if I was okay and continued to check for the next few times that we got on and off the bus to see if I had recovered.
The other side had a gorgeous rain forest and yet another opportunity to go even higher for a tree house walkaround. I passed, but Ruth took it all in.
Then we had to come back! Ruth suggested that I hold on to her belt and walk behind her. She carried on a conversation the whole way back to keep my mind occupied. I watched the back of her head and the talking made the trip back seem a bit faster.
Ruth also brought a t-shirt to my room that night to reward my bravery. Did that experience in any way help my fear of heights? Not in the least. I am also still so afraid of water that I have not learned to swim. I contend that while it is important not to let fear rule your life, some of those fears are worth holding onto!